[UAU: HEELTURN]
Jun. 16th, 2013 08:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sternitfortem[ It’s been three months.
It’s been three months since Juudai fell into hell, since he was fitted for the shock collars that now rest almost comfortably at his neck and upper arms, since Kaiser kissed him in the kitchen with such terrible desperation, since he was taught that pain is freedom and the only freedom he’ll have again until hell sees fit to spit him back out. Three months. Juudai has become accustomed to the shocks enough that he can take three thousand in one shot and stay conscious, two thousand and still stand, one thousand and barely flinch. He’s lost several pounds of baby fat, and it shows in the hardness of his jawline, the new sharpness in his face, the cording in his neck and the way his abs show beneath his shirt. The red spidery scars at his neck are deeper, darker, a permanent fixture now. Three months. Juudai’s hardened. It doesn’t bother him any longer when his opponents scream.
He still screams at the strongest shocks, which is part of his image as the young ingénue. (In reality, it’s just Juudai’s pain-coping mechanism, a function of adrenaline, not a call of distress.) Saruyama hates it, it’s wearing thin. He was supposed to turn two months ago. Somehow, Juudai has hung on, managed to keep the face of a “face” for three. months. He technically has no official moniker; all the announcers call him “the kid,” or “the student,” but the nickname he’s best known by came from an overheard exasperated comment from Saruyama (after Juudai’s seventeenth straight script deviation). Well, he’d said, I’d expect as much from my little prince, who tells me so boldly what he will do! Somehow that caught on. It’s a stupid name, but its very unofficiality made it spread like wildfire among the regulars, because a nickname stolen straight from the lips of a promoter in a private conversation, never used in official announcements or documentation, is a perfect way to show off that one is “in the know.” Saruyama had been incredibly tickled to find this out, and took great pains to make sure to drop it occasionally when he seemed to think he was in private.
Saruyama told Juudai before tonight’s match that he’s not getting a script. “Right now,” he sighed, “I just don’t know how to script you. Don’t think this is the end. But I’ve decided to see how you ad-lib a good duel. We’ll talk development next week. For tonight, just worry about defeating your opponents.” Juudai didn’t make a smart remark. Those days are gone. Three months of working under Saruyama have taught Juudai how to look like he isn’t thinking anything rude at all. (In fact, he’s reaching the point where he just forgets to think rude things at the man, period.) He’d just nodded, and gone over to Kaiser to see if he wanted to talk strategy beforehand. Kaiser had just gripped his shoulder, and murmured, “Be careful.”
So when Juudai experimentally attacks a face-down monster and takes effect damage for his trouble, his stomach clenches before he even realizes what it is. For a weird, sinking second, he knows that something has gone terribly wrong, but not what it is. Something is missing. Something is—
(it doesn’t hurt)
It has been three months, and Juudai hasn’t once failed to feel pain when he takes damage.
(And then he hears it.)
(Next to him, Kaiser makes a sound.) ]
It’s been three months since Juudai fell into hell, since he was fitted for the shock collars that now rest almost comfortably at his neck and upper arms, since Kaiser kissed him in the kitchen with such terrible desperation, since he was taught that pain is freedom and the only freedom he’ll have again until hell sees fit to spit him back out. Three months. Juudai has become accustomed to the shocks enough that he can take three thousand in one shot and stay conscious, two thousand and still stand, one thousand and barely flinch. He’s lost several pounds of baby fat, and it shows in the hardness of his jawline, the new sharpness in his face, the cording in his neck and the way his abs show beneath his shirt. The red spidery scars at his neck are deeper, darker, a permanent fixture now. Three months. Juudai’s hardened. It doesn’t bother him any longer when his opponents scream.
He still screams at the strongest shocks, which is part of his image as the young ingénue. (In reality, it’s just Juudai’s pain-coping mechanism, a function of adrenaline, not a call of distress.) Saruyama hates it, it’s wearing thin. He was supposed to turn two months ago. Somehow, Juudai has hung on, managed to keep the face of a “face” for three. months. He technically has no official moniker; all the announcers call him “the kid,” or “the student,” but the nickname he’s best known by came from an overheard exasperated comment from Saruyama (after Juudai’s seventeenth straight script deviation). Well, he’d said, I’d expect as much from my little prince, who tells me so boldly what he will do! Somehow that caught on. It’s a stupid name, but its very unofficiality made it spread like wildfire among the regulars, because a nickname stolen straight from the lips of a promoter in a private conversation, never used in official announcements or documentation, is a perfect way to show off that one is “in the know.” Saruyama had been incredibly tickled to find this out, and took great pains to make sure to drop it occasionally when he seemed to think he was in private.
Saruyama told Juudai before tonight’s match that he’s not getting a script. “Right now,” he sighed, “I just don’t know how to script you. Don’t think this is the end. But I’ve decided to see how you ad-lib a good duel. We’ll talk development next week. For tonight, just worry about defeating your opponents.” Juudai didn’t make a smart remark. Those days are gone. Three months of working under Saruyama have taught Juudai how to look like he isn’t thinking anything rude at all. (In fact, he’s reaching the point where he just forgets to think rude things at the man, period.) He’d just nodded, and gone over to Kaiser to see if he wanted to talk strategy beforehand. Kaiser had just gripped his shoulder, and murmured, “Be careful.”
So when Juudai experimentally attacks a face-down monster and takes effect damage for his trouble, his stomach clenches before he even realizes what it is. For a weird, sinking second, he knows that something has gone terribly wrong, but not what it is. Something is missing. Something is—
(it doesn’t hurt)
It has been three months, and Juudai hasn’t once failed to feel pain when he takes damage.
(And then he hears it.)
(Next to him, Kaiser makes a sound.) ]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-17 02:46 am (UTC)This...
This isn't good.
His stance automatically changes to the defensive, and he holds his Duel Disk in front of him almost like a shield. Who...
...no, he knows who did this.
His gaze locks onto Saruyama, who stands casually outside the cage, hands folded loosely over the top of his cane. He looks...like he's waiting for something. A reaction.
But when his life is on the line, Kaiser isn't going to give him that kind of satisfaction. He straightens up and looks straight ahead at their challengers, with a brief glance to Juudai. Go on, finish your turn.
He doubts that that'll work.]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-17 04:04 am (UTC)No, no, no, no, the sudden suspicion which just bloomed into his mind like a firework bursting and falling, it can't be true, Saruyama couldn't possibly have... (Juudai brushes his neck with his fingers just to see if the collar is still there. It is.) Kaiser stumbles, shakes, grunts - the signs he shows when he takes damage. His eyes flicker towards the edge of the ring, and Juudai's eyes follow:
Saruyama. Standing with his hands folded on his cane, smiling a little, the same exact posture he usually uses, as if nothing is different. (Little whispers race around the crowd as the sharper-eyed audience members begin to piece together what is going on.)
Kaiser's collar is transmitting Juudai's damage. And Juudai knows that Kaiser's damage isn't going to him, because a turn earlier Kaiser had taken 500 points and everything had gone as normal. (There is a faint roaring in his ears, like the crest of a wave before it falls.) Juudai's hands are shaking; he feels muddled, disoriented. The pain by now has become more than a punishment for damage: it focuses his thoughts, keeps time for him, narrows his gaze to the duel and the duel alone, and shuts out everything else. The crowd, the catcalls and jeers, the humiliation, the cage, the constant gaze - none of that matters when you are reminded by pain that You Must Survive.
Juudai shakes his head, once, twice. ]
I - I end my turn.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-17 05:38 am (UTC)Hell Kaiser has made quite a noble sacrifice for you, Juudai-kun.
[He smiles (almost not a smirk, almost looking genuine) and adjusts his glasses.]
You face quite formidable opponents today, and you have evidently been a most excellent pupil. Your upperclassman has elected to take your damage for you.
[From the expression on Kaiser's face as he catches Juudai's eye again, the complete blankness that betrays confusion (confusion, maybe fear?), he "elected" to do no such thing.]
But such a favor can't come without a price, hmm?
no subject
Date: 2013-06-18 12:58 am (UTC)Whispers are now catching in parts of the audience like sparks catching into flames. Those that can hear Saruyama are reporting them to their tablemates, to those around them, reaching to the back. ]
[ Juudai manages to stammer, face white and caught between terror and confusion: ]
F-favor?
[ Only the fact that most of Juudai is trembling right now, that he doesn't know how to react or move, is keeping him from flying to the cage's perimeter and shaking the bars at Saruyama like a wild animal. ]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-18 01:59 am (UTC)[His tone is patient, like he's explaining something to a small child. A "little prince", as it were.]
Each shock that the Kaiser absorbs for you will be stronger than the last. Such is the price of altruism, for a heel!
[He addressed the audience, almost more than Juudai, with that last remark, before turning to his charge again.]
I hope you appreciate his efforts to protect you.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-18 02:51 am (UTC)He'd never...!
[ Because to Kaiser, the ability to endure pain is itself a marker of maturity, of fitness to live in the world. Kaiser wouldn't offer to take Juudai's pain, his rightfully earned pain, away from him. That wasn't how Kaiser did things.
But Juudai is pulled from the cage's edge by the call of the nearest five's next turn, and he has to pay attention. Saruyama's warning, Each shock that the Kaiser absorbs for you will be stronger than the last, plays over and over in his head, each iteration more urgent and terribly final than the last. ]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-18 03:21 am (UTC)Juudai is right, he didn't ask for this, although some of the audience doesn't seem to see it that way (there's a Greek or two, especially, who seem positively touched). He wouldn't dream of taking Juudai's pain, and not just because it marks Juudai as someone fit for him, not just because he feels like he'd be depriving him of something vital.
He can take the normal shocks over the course of a duel. That's easy, by now. But twice normal? More than twice, with Saruyama's conditions?
He's not the type of genius who could calculate the odds of his survival on the spot. He wishes he could, wishes he could have a concrete figure, because he's finding the usual Hell Kaiser mindset quite hard to access at the moment and he needs something to steady himself.
(his life is in someone else's hands)
(it's lopsided, now, it's not Juudai and himself protecting each other, just protecting him, and it)
(it makes his skin crawl)
It would be hard for most people to take any of this from his wooden movements, or from the flatness of his voice as he begins to take his turn. A trap set, another stalling monster, and then to the next five for his turn. The audience still murmurs.]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-19 04:06 am (UTC)His partner, a young woman with short hair, smirks behind a hand. "I bet you need the collars just to get it up for the face, right? He can't be doing much for you."
Juudai is used to hearing taunts like this by now, especially from the fives. Sometimes people sell themselves in the underground to get by, to make some extra money or because they get into bad deals with their promoters. Fives are heels that use their cruel image as part of their out-of-ring activities, and they tend to brag about it in the ring, to faces and heels. That kind of talk would get anyone off-kilter who wasn't used to it. (Juudai would know.)
((It's a poorly-kept secret now that Kaiser really does get off on the pain in the ring. It's different from what Juudai feels - Juudai takes the pain and makes himself enjoy it. For Juudai, pain means important things. But for Kaiser, it's more basic. He just has some sort of wires crossed. Kaiser starts to hurt past a certain point and everything about him just turns right on, revs right up.))
Juudai forces himself not to glance over at Kaiser when the fives start talking. ]
[ The guy finally enters his Battle Phase. "I attack Cyber Dragon with my Volcanic Scattershot!"
The bottom drops out of Juudai's stomach. Volcanic Scattershot only has 500 attack, not nearly enough to scratch Cyber Dragon - but it doesn't have to. It inflicts 500 points of effect damage once it hits the Graveyard. ]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-19 05:17 am (UTC)It's a constant, stinging reminder that he isn't what he should be. He should be in control. He should be dominant. He shouldn't be feeling anything from comments like that, especially. Not irked, not humiliated...and the humiliation shouldn't be interesting to him, either.
(Sometimes, as Hell Kaiser, the feeling disappears. He takes the shock and revels in it and taunts them with the knowledge that there is nothing they can do to him that he will not relish completely. But the moments don't last long.)
He knows he has more important things to worry about, but he steels himself before the collars go off, hardens his face. When the 500 damage hits, he barely flinches, doesn't move an inch. And he doesn't acknowledge their opponents past a cold glance.
He just hopes he can hold out long enough for them to win.
The five ends his turn, trading a knowing smirk with his partner before turning to Juudai.
"Come on, kid. Wanna show us what he keeps you around for?"]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-20 12:42 am (UTC)My draw. [ he mutters darkly, and pulls the top card from his deck. He's too agitated to work very hard at looking optimistic and hopeful. He's too agitated to act well at all, actually. ]
I summon Elemental Hero Sparkman in attack mode. [ He doesn't have Spark Gun, which is less than ideal, but his deck might still give it to him in a couple turns. ] And attack Crimson Sentry!
[ The woman ducks when the hard light blows chunks of her monster past her, but doesn't flinch when the measly 100 points of damage activates her collar. (At this level, for everyone in this duel, 100 points is basically a papercut.) Then she grins.
"I activate the continuous trap Backfire!"
Fuck.
Five hundred more points of effect damage to Juudai, for the destruction of a FIRE-attribute monster. Both of them near-exclusively use FIRE monsters! (This wouldn't be a problem in a normal duel where Juudai wasn't worried about Kaiser - but - but - but.) ]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-20 01:11 am (UTC)When it rolls through him, his stance barely changes, but it does get a noise out of him, wrenched out from low in his throat. He has to force his hand not to go to his mouth.
It's going to get worse each time he takes damage, not just because of the growing shock but because of the cumulative effects of the collars. He has to stay blank. He has to keep from flinching.
The woman inspects her cards, seems to frown, sets a monster and retreats, tugging at the laces of one of her thigh-high boots. An opportunity, or a bluff, he can't tell which.
He's guarded, though, now. If he can wait and pull another Cyber Dragon, he'll be able to summon Cyber End and make attacking a facedown card blindly somewhat more worthwhile. So he sets and waits himself, watching their opponents warily.
(he knows that this wasn't for him)
(this setup was for Juudai)
(and if he doesn't stay up and fighting it's going to work)]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-20 03:27 am (UTC)"I summon Fire Trooper" - the hard light system outlines the bat-winged shape of the monster - "and send it to my Graveyard!"
By now, Juudai has figured out that these two are very good at what they do. They tend to prefer effect damage to direct damage, being willing to send their mostly low-level monsters to the Graveyard to deal effect damage. Juudai doesn't really have cards to combat that style, at least not while Saruyama has him playing pure E-Heroes and isn't allowing him to mix in his Neospacians.
"This deals 1000 points of damage to an opponent," the guy says. Juudai can't even be shocked. (Oh shit, was that a pun? Of all times, now?) He is starting to feel his grasp on the situation slipping. The guy indicates Juudai, and a moment before Juudai can even activate something (none of his traps apply), the woman shouts, "By Backfire's effect, you take 500 more damage!"
Juudai isn't aware of his mouth moving, his vocal cords engaging, until he hears out of his own mouth: ]
No.
[ He takes another 1500 damage. His tally is at 1500 LP remaining. He feels as though he is seeing this in slow motion, that the world is slowing down, like he isn't seeing or moving through air but through thick, clear syrup.
His mind keeps stuttering like a scratched record over and over on the thought: but what can I do? What can I do? Without the pain to mark his life for him, he can't seem to feel as though this duel is actually happening to him. As if he is watching it from a great distance. Disassociated from reality. ]
1/3?
Date: 2013-06-20 03:32 am (UTC)He tries to relax again, puts himself in a stable stance to take the shock--]
2/3
Date: 2013-06-20 03:48 am (UTC)He has to cling for a moment, hanging from his arms, recovering himself. His bangs hang over his eyes, shading his face, and his body trembles faintly under the coat.
(He has not fallen since his first week.)
(He doesn't know it but this is more than he's ever taken in a single duel. Over 5200 LP and counting.)
Slowly, he pulls himself up, with a groan that he tries to muffle with the first arm he frees. He can hear some kind of taunt from the other side of the ring. "C'mon, don't be shy about it, Kaiser! We can't hear you!"
(his whole body aches and sings with it, it's more than he's ever taken before and it would be exhilarating if his life hadn't been on the line)
(his head is swimming)]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-20 04:01 am (UTC)He has to ignore his spinning head, has to ignore the ache spreading through his body. (He doesn't know whether he's reacted visibly yet, can't do anything but hope that he hasn't.)
He jolts out of the haze slightly when he realizes he has Kirin set, and he taps his wrist to signal to Juudai. They can keep Backfire's effect damage off once, at least.
(As long as Juudai is reading the signals.)]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-21 01:50 am (UTC)you think the face is gonna break or turn -
don't be a fuckin idiot the monkey always turns his faces -
iddaknow i think he's given up on this one -
kid couldn't turn if they put him on a record table, they're gonna break him and repackage him as a cherub -
you think??
i think
he won't turn
he'll turn i think -
Juudai brings his left hand to his mouth and sinks his teeth into the soft meat between his forefinger and thumb. He bites so hard his hand nearly goes numb, his vision blurs for a second, and he can think again, even if just for a moment. His palm drips blood. He can taste it. ]
I draw.
[ He can't think. Not even the hand helped - he can't think - he can hear everyone talking and he feels as though the voices are in his head themselves, pressing his skull to bursting with meaningless noise - he can't think because Kaiser keeps taking his pain, and Kaiser could die, and Kaiser could die, and Kaiser could die, and Kaiser could die, and Kaiser cou-- ]
I -
[ he stutters, because he doesn't know how to solve the Backfire problem, short of destroying the card, which he could if he drew Cyclone but it just hasn't come yet, and Kaiser could die, and - and - ]
I change Sparkman to defense mode, and end my turn.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-21 06:08 am (UTC)It doesn't matter now. He just watches the woman across from him as her turn begins, pulling his Duel Disk up to his chest again, guarding himself.
But his vision is swimming, his pulse pounds in his ears, he struggles not just to process her speech but even to hear it.
(Is he afraid?)
(No. He couldn't be. That's not possible.)
Her turn ends. He sees her sneer at him and doesn't bother trying to figure out why.
And...yes, it's his turn, and--]
Draw.
[...not Cyber Dragon. He was waiting to pull Cyber Dragon.
He has one on the field, though, already, he needs to do something of value, so he attacks her facedown (barely muttering his action), sacrifices Kirin to dodge the effect damage. He doesn't process his own words -- he's sleepwalking through it, mumbling, something he can do with a deck he knows this well (except his life depends on his presence). There's a summon in response.]
...Juudai.
[It almost startles him when he starts speaking.]
You might have to win this for me.
[His voice is more even than he would have thought he could manage.]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-24 04:16 pm (UTC)(you fucking idiot you fucking idiot you moron you fucked up you)
("Juudai."
"You might have to win this for me.")
Juudai finds his voice again. ]
You - We - We'll be fine, Kaiser. We can do this.
[ He wants desperately to reach out and touch Kaiser's arm, hold his hand and hope the shocks conduct through him, he just wants to do something instead of standing here, fucking up. But his training holds him back. Three months of building this act of the aloof senpai and aspiring, adoring kouhai hold him back. ]
We'll figure something out.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-24 11:35 pm (UTC)Don't count on it.
You'll...do fine.
[Whether Kaiser himself will do fine, of course, is yet to be seen.
The audience is murmuring. Money is being counted.
he's going down
no shit he's going down look at his face
poor kid's gonna get fried tomorrow night
think he'll get his wings?
yeah you'd like that wouldn't you
one mil says hell kaiser dies]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-25 01:57 am (UTC)We'll be fine.
[ The male five draws. And smiles an awful smile. "I tribute the Blast Asmodian from my field and Volcanic Counter from my partner's field to summon -" ]
We'll be fine.
[ "- Infernal Flame Emperor!" The hard light system really gives the audience its money's worth tonight, as a huge chimera of flame bursts into the air above them, and settles. Juudai can feel heat against his face. The woman laughs and says, "Now, I think I'd like to hear these two beg!"
The man continues, "I banish three of the FIRE monsters in my Graveyard to destroy the three facedown cards on your side of the field." There goes Juudai's last cheap defense, and whatever Kaiser had on his side - Juudai no longer even remembers.
(Juudai has 1500 LP. He has Clayman in his hand now, but still no Fusion, just De-Fusion (useless now) and some Bubble support, useless since he hasn't seen Bubbleman once in this duel. Kaiser has 2000 LP, and he hasn't gotten out a Fusion for Cyber End, either. Typical, send out the two guys with Fusion decks and they can't draw the card they built their decks around.)
"Hmmm..." the man drawls. "Which of you should I scorch to ashes?"
Ignoring him, Juudai frantically whispers to Kaiser: ]
One turn. They can't take either of us this turn. We're close but we're not down. We'll be fine. You can do this.
[ "I wonder, will he hurt more if I attack the face? Or if I just give it to him right now?"
(An absent part of Juudai's brain calculates that if Juudai is attacked, he'll take 900 damage and lose Sparkman, times whatever multiplier Saruyama has on Kaiser's collar. If Kaiser is attacked, he loses Cyber Dragon and takes 1700 straight. Their only motivation to attack Cyber Dragon might be that they don't have faith in the supposed damage multiplier, and they might want to avoid Kaiser getting out Cyber End by some miracle and forcing a sudden reversal.)
The two of them start cat-calling Kaiser at the same time:
"You or the face?"
"Which do you want more? His or yours?"
"Take it fast or slow? Which of you should I fuck harde-"
"Tell me, Hell Kaiser, I need to know-
"do you mind if we cut in on-
"tell us Hell Kaiser tell us -" ]
1/3
Date: 2013-06-25 03:41 am (UTC)His posture opens, turns aggressive just for a moment, and he steps forward and roars]
That's ENOUGH--
[but the man's eyes have locked onto him already, and Kaiser's words meld in with a murmured announcement of an attack.]
2/3
Date: 2013-06-25 05:35 am (UTC)The Cyber Dragon on the field before him cracks, warps, melts, and an instant later the collars go on with a flash of electric light and his mouth clamps shut as his knees buckle. He stumbles, tries to grab for the cage but it's too late, he's kneeling now.
(he knew this would happen but suddenly his whole body is seizing with panic because this is the one rule, you do not fall in the ring, you enter on your feet and you leave on your feet, you do not fall)
The five puts one hand to his ear, smirking. "What was that, Hell Kaiser? I can't hear you."
He tries to keep stable, tries to stay up, but his body will not hold him and his strained muscles have no strength left in them after the overexertion from the shocks and he
falls
and slumps heavily to the floor.]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-25 06:29 am (UTC)He may have made a miscalculation.
But there's a silver lining to any situation, isn't there?]
What a pity. To have one's kindness taken advantage of.
I thought you were a hero, boy.
[But of course he thought nothing like that. Of course, from his tone of voice, he was expecting this. That Juudai would let his mentor fall. That, sooner or later, the truth would come out.
You are no hero, are you, Juudai Yuki?]
1/??????
Date: 2013-06-26 04:13 am (UTC)Kaiser falls, after Juudai had just begged him to stay on his feet, because they could still survive this turn.
Kaiser falls. He took too much damage. He took too many shocks, more than any duelist could, safely.
Kaiser falls.
Kaiser fell.
Kaiser has fallen. ]
2/?
Date: 2013-06-26 04:15 am (UTC)(To fall is to die, and Kaiser has fallen.)
(To die is to fall, and Kaiser fell.)
(To fall is to fall, and Kaiser is dead.)
((there is something inside him clawing at the insides of his skull, something running rampant in him, something that chases and gnaws itself in ouroboros circles like a crazed terrible thing in pain))
“I end my turn,” the male five says, with a smug smile, and turns exaggeratedly to Juudai. “You should be grateful to your senpai. He bought you some time.”
This hurts. Juudai has not taken a single shock during this duel and every inch of him hurts. Every cell in his body is working to suppress the thing running around Juudai’s insides, the scream that is trying to work its way out of his mouth. It would break Juudai to allow that scream to come out of him. It would tear him apart, a galestorm shredding him. This hurts. The crowd’s roar is reverberating in his head, blowing away any coherency he might gather, resonating with the roar of his own thoughts, Kaiser has fallen, Kaiser is dead, you fucked up, you fucked up and Kaiser has fallen, three months and this is how it ends, three months and you couldn’t duel without the shocks because you’re a fucking animal in a cage, Kaiser has fallen and –
look at him look at his eyes
he’s gone, man, he’s fuckin’ gone
it’s funny, they usually only get that look from the collars and he isn’t even taking damage
kid’s getting his wings tonight
hell, kid’s flying away right now
- the fives have started jeering, but Juudai can’t distinguish their voices from the shifting voices of the crowd, all speaking at once, an entire Greek chorus of dismembered words and disconnected sounds all chewing each other to pieces. Juudai thought, three months ago, that he had fallen into hell. No. He hadn’t yet. Hell was in your mind. He wasn’t in hell then.
He is in hell now. ]
3
Date: 2013-06-26 04:18 am (UTC)(A surge in the noise from the crowd; they scent blood.)
To fall is to die.
(Kaiser fell.)
Juudai has fallen.
(Kaiser is dead.)
To fall is to fall.
(Because of you, Yuki Juudai, Marufuji Ryou is dead.)
He hurts.
(Pain is freedom, but hurt is hurt)
The noise is tearing him apart.
(He can’t think.)
He can’t think.
(The overwhelming enormity of Kaiser’s fall has pressed all meaning out of the world.)
If Juudai had done something right, Kaiser would not be dead.
(I thought you were a hero, boy.)
Juudai wanted to be a hero, because heroes don’t fail their friends when their friends need them.
(He’s not a hero.)
He can’t think.
(Kaiser has fallen.)
Juudai is dead.
(To fall is to die.)
To fall is to die.
Juudai presses the heels of his hands into his eyes, digs them in. Invert-colored stars burst behind his vision. Something wet is on his left palm. He had bitten it, earlier. He clenches his jaws around the scream that will kill him if it comes out of him.
(he wants this to be over)
(he wants to be over)
(he wants)
(to die)
(to fall)
(he is in hell)
(he wants)
(this)
(to)
(end)
And then.
It does.
]
4/5
Date: 2013-06-26 04:20 am (UTC)it is so quiet
he made it quiet
What does he want? Does he want to die? He has already fallen. His knees are on the floor. They are calling people to open the cage and take him out, force the duel by default. But they are moving so slowly. Everything is slow. So he has time. To decide what he wants.
he wanted to die
but he fell
to fall is to die
so he already is dead
it is foolish to want something he already has
He doesn’t want to die. But he wants
death.
Does he want that?
(It would be right. It would be just. It would be equivocal. Kaiser fell. Juudai fell. They are dead. So the ones who killed them should be dead, if it is in his power to make it so.)
That’s insane.
(No. Doing nothing is insane.)
I am doing nothing. I have done nothing. I am nothing.
(Then you are insane.)
I am in pain.
(Then you are free.)
Then I am free.
To
(do)
anything.
Juudai swallows the scream in his throat, and it is gone.
The quiet is so calming. It’s so freeing. It’s cold. And dark. And all of him. The quiet dark collects in him, blooming out into in him, like he has struck groundwater, filling him from some internal source. Erasing every unnecessary thing. Fear. Anxiety. Frustration. Anger. Sadness. Hope.
He feels only the rumble in his body, in his bones.
He is not in hell.
Hell is in him.}
DONE
Date: 2013-06-26 04:22 am (UTC)His eyes burn in their sockets like fire.
His eyes burn with hell.
He stands, and rises from the dead. ]
I draw.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-27 12:52 am (UTC)There is a change. Even now, when the ringing in his ears shuts out the sound of Juudai's new voice, he can see it in his movement.
(juudai turned)
(he knows, he knows because it twists his gut because it's happened to him)
He tries to speak, but there's no sound. He can't produce anything. All he can do is watch.
From the sidelines, Saruyama watches, and waits, and smiles.]
1/2
Date: 2013-06-27 04:12 am (UTC)He sees: arrogance in the male five's face twisting slowly into confusion. The woman is warier; her eyes flicker across his face, to Saruyama, to Kaiser, return to his face, stray to his chest, the direction of his body weight. (She is unconsciously evaluating him as a predator.) Both of them are afraid, but neither of them know it yet - they are not listening to their instincts.
He sees: the shape of every man and woman in the crowd, despite the lights designed to blind and disorient. He can memorize every face. He can read their lips. Hardly any are moving, hardly anyone speaks.
In the hush, he places his hand to his deck and draws his card.
(the chill in his fingers bites at the hell in his bones)
He doesn't remember putting this card in his deck.
(but it is suited to this purpose)
He sees: a path to victory. ]
[ He speaks, and his voice is cold, is empty of every last thing but purpose. That, he burns with. ]
I play Dark Fusion and fuse the Clayman in my hand with the Sparkman on my field to bring forth Evil HERO Lightning Golem.
[ It seems fitting to summon a warrior hewn by humans from the earth. He touches, almost absently, the spidery lightning-fork scars at his neck, his eyes never leaving his opponents. A warrior animated by the force which is its anathema, the celestial lightning and the dull, rough clay.
It's just a thought. ]
By Lightning Golem's effect, I destroy Infernal Flame Emperor.
[ Lightning Golem raises a fist and lowers it, like a hammer cleaving the air. Infernal Flame Emperor roars and is roped by the current arcing over its body, the flame chewed and swallowed, until it vanishes, leaving the man who summoned it chalk-white and shaking. ]
2/3 I LIED
Date: 2013-06-27 04:25 am (UTC)(He wanted death.
It would be just.)
Juudai sprints forward suddenly, his feet eating ground and not stopping as he reaches and seizes the male five by the throat, slamming him forward at least three meters until they both crash into the cage behind them. His right hand, his drawing hand, clenches in the man's throat. The woman shouts in confusion and fear (not terror, not yet) and though Juudai has not really heard the crowd since he fell, he feels the sound crashing and rolling in his sternum like waves, surging behind his ribs as though he breathes for it, a single organism.
"Wha - wha -?!" the man chokes, his face bulging. Juudai can smell the fear on him, the acrid prey-sweat and the sharp sting of involuntary urine. (A common smell in the Underground. Loss of muscle control after large shocks is common.) ]
Beg me.
[ The man, though his team leads, has just 2200 LP left. A hazard of a self-inflicted effect damage deck.
Lightning Golem sports 2400 attack. ]
Beg me for your life.
[ He gurgles, chokes, "God, god... god... please.... god please please please..." His knees are buckling now.
Juudai speaks in hell's voice. ]
I can't hear you.
Direct attack.
[ And he doesn't let go. The shock hits and conducts through his body, through the grip he maintains on the man's throat, and it contracts all his muscles, pulling, squeezing. His hand clamps inexorably shut, like a vise.
It is a mercy the man dies from the shock, without waiting for the shards of his windpipe to suffocate him. ]
3/3
Date: 2013-06-27 04:53 am (UTC)Juudai used to scream on purpose when the shocks hit, to balance atop the wave of pain, to leash his accelerating heartbeat and ride it like a racehorse.
This scream does not ride the pain. It is the pain. It is the freedom, in pain, to do anything. It is a territorial claim. It is wild.
It is hell.
It is the dark that speaks. ]
[ He has to use his other hand, cards pinched between his last two fingers to free his pointer finger and thumb, to pry his right hand open. Now his right hand, too, is slick with blood. (Not his own, this time.)
He turns to the woman, whose eyes have gone animal-blank with fear. ]
I activate from my hand, the Quick-Play Magic De-Fusion.
[
(at this, hell roars, as if the earth were shaking)
]
Clayman direct attacks.
[ The woman clenches her teeth, determined not to scream from just 800. She, too, had 2200 LP. It's down to 1400 now.
It's not enough.
(It's not enough.)
They both
(need to suffer.)
He removes his Duel Disk.
( sudden )
( silence. )
( hell f r e e z e s over . )
She stumbles back, confused. "Is this a surrender?" she keeps asking, over and over, dazed. "Is this - is that - ?!"
He holds the Disk by the arm-clamp, and clubs her across the face with the forearm panel. She utters a cry of pain and surprise, turns back only for him to strike her again, much harder this time. His cards flutter to the floor like fallen leaves. She puts up a hand, but he bats it away and, two-handed, slams her up under the jaw. She reels into the cage, off-balance.
He hits her with the Disk, over and over. Until her nose shatters all over her face. Until his Disk dents. Her blood stains his cards in little splotches. The hard-light system on the Disk begins to malfunction, hisses static, the holographic image of his monsters fuzzing out and glitching. Finally, he stops. The woman never fell to the floor, only braced herself against the cage. She doesn't cry with the pain. She just howls, low moans of rage and agony, animalistic and furious.
At least one of them was a worthy opponent in the end.
Sparkman stutters in the air just behind him, glitching, spitting pixels in the air, his limbs occasionally taking on image artifacts from other monsters: wings, scales, gouts of flame, claws, steel, arthropod joints, ooze. ]
Direct attack.
[ The attack animation is too much for the device. Sparkman just dissolves into a cloud of random pixels, of static and shadow.
The dark descends on his opponent, and she screams her hate at him until the collar cuts out, and she finally collapses. ]
1/2?
Date: 2013-06-28 02:17 am (UTC)When Juudai attacks the first time, Kaiser blinks, twitches.
As he flies across the cage, Kaiser moves, slowly, his entire body protesting, and pulls himself onto his hands and knees.
(the audience whispers, bets are returned, even as they watch Juudai slam the other man into the cage wall)
He watches Juudai with his hands on the man's throat and wonders how far he has gone. He sees how far he's gone.
(he hears that man begging and he sees Juudai still and cold even if he can't see his face)
He mouths Juudai's name, doesn't speak it.
Juudai shocks the man then and he takes it through himself and screams, and
Kaiser is in awe.
(awe is not something he feels, he is never laid open in that way because he masters things he is not laid down by them but he feels it now)
(he feels like he's witnessing an earthquake, watching the titans march)
(he keeps feeling it as Juudai moves to the woman and brings down his duel disk on her face once, twice, three times...)
(it is bloody and horrible and great)
(his mind is clouded and he is not thinking straight and in this moment Juudai looks to him like a god of death)]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-28 02:49 am (UTC)Then the crowd explodes, every audience member talking at once, some of the more drunken ones whooping and screaming and chanting, but everyone speaking--
did you see that did you see his face what a glorious fuckin turn that--
he did it again. not that i'm surprised, after the hell kaiser, he's a genius with his duelists--
shame about the woman, though, i've been to her and she's--
totally genuine, too, a real natural turn--
smashed her up completely what a psycho i love it--
tickets for tomorrow night--
Saruyama dashes into the ring amidst the chaos, grabs Juudai's hand and hoists it up into the air.]
Congratulations, my boy! You've graduated!
[The crowd flares up again, some of them rising to their feet, applauding. One of them starts up a chant--
HA—OU! HA—OU! HA—OU!
The crowd latches onto it, picks it up, and the noise swells.
HA—OU!
HA—OU!
HA—OU!
Kaiser shudders on the floor. Someone's lifting the woman out of the cage.]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-28 04:29 am (UTC)He breathes, and at first it's all he can hear. Then, sound slowly begins to trickle back into his perceptions. His grip on the cold, on the dark, is loosening -
(he decided what he wanted, and he took it
and now there is
what?)
- loosening, the terrible purpose that seized his entire being is draining out of him, slowly. And he realizes that he can hear, as if from a distance, as the sea through a shell, the roaring of the crowd. Saruyama comes out of nowhere and thrusts his hand into the air, and the crowd swells with that chant, with that word:
HA—OU! HA—OU! HA—OU! HA—OU! HA—OU! HA—OU!
It beats like a heart; he can feel his own almost aligning to it. The roar of the crowd is in his bones and blood. He almost feels as though he is not a person anymore - just a resonator for this multi-bodied organism, the mob that crows for blood and always gets it. Juudai can only breathe, great heaves as though he almost drowned just then.
Saruyama seems delirious with joy, as he takes Juudai's armbands off - he waves his arms and announces to the crowd, The young man has completed his education! Then, with one smooth movement, he pulls Juudai's jacket off from behind. The air hits Juudai's arms and chills him. No longer a prince, he is worthy of the title.... of KING!!
In all of this turmoil -
In this clamor and pandemonium -
Juudai hears something. Something like movement. Behind him.
He turns. ]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-28 02:28 pm (UTC)He raises his eyes slowly to lock them with Juudai's.
(pulling him up from the bottom)
(this is the first time they have ever seen each other)
The audience is clamoring from something from Saruyama, and he's holding up the jacket to them, waving it and going on about the young prince's flowering. Right now, Kaiser couldn't care less about that.
He's watching his partner.]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-28 03:38 pm (UTC)( he is rising )
Juudai still has that strange sight, that sense that he is seeing everything too real, stripped of pretense and illusion, filling his head to bursting with the understanding of it, and he locks eyes with Kaiser. He sees - the rhythm of his breath. He sees - the shaking in every limb. He sees -
awe.
(he sees himself a god in kaiser's eyes)
(and he thinks
mine.)
(he has earned this.)
(he fell, and died, and stood, and lived, and bought kaiser's resurrection with his own.)
(he fetched kaiser's soul from the underworld, and did not allow the weakness of illusion to turn his head back too early.)
(he became hell and plucked kaiser out of his very self.)
(he has earned him.)
(kaiser is his now.)
Juudai turns and walks away from Saruyama's side, the crowd forgotten, the man irrelevant. His eyes remain locked on Kaiser.
The crowd means nothing. The sounds mean nothing. The eyes watching them, the lights, the whispers, all mean nothing. They are in pain. They are in hell. And they are free.
Juudai stands over Kaiser, crouches down to where he kneels, takes Kaiser's face in his hands, and kisses him fiercely. ]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-28 04:34 pm (UTC)(He can hear the crowd roar and catcall in the background, but that doesn't really matter right now, does it?)
His hands move up to Juudai's shoulders, and he returns the kiss, softly, with all the exhaustion that he feels. Submitting.]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-28 04:58 pm (UTC)(juudai wants all of him)
(juudai wants to feel his heart beat and make him alive and make him live and make him never, ever die again)
It takes an eternity for him to break the kiss. He has to because Kaiser doesn't have the power to end it, to refuse it, to call for clarity and a better time and place. Kaiser is too weak to live anywhere but right now. It is up to Juudai to lead them. ]
I've got you.
[ he murmurs, slinging an arm under Kaiser's arms and hoisting him to his feet, unsteadily. Juudai makes his way around the edge of the cage to the exit, using the bars to support his and Kaiser's combined weight when needed, ignoring the crowd entirely. ]
no subject
Date: 2013-06-29 12:53 am (UTC)...no, though. It's...just this once, it's all right. To be helped by a god, that's not such a bad thing.
He holds onto Juudai, places one foot in front of the other with slow, careful precision.
Behind them, Saruyama gestures to his leaving heels, excuses himself with a smirk to walk beside them.]